Lost in Translation?

I only spent a few days in Amsterdam, a bicycle-crazy (Holland’s 16 million people own 16 million bikes), live and let live place where all things in moderation are legal, first with my friend Mark and then with some friends I’d met in Turkey.

Then I returned to Germany to spend a week in Cologne with my friends Claudia and Sascha. Thanks to Sascha, I ended up working in the Economics Department at the University of Cologne for a few days helping on an international research study surveying the relationship between airlines and their hub airports. It was a lot of phone calling, but fun considering I’d been to many of the places I was calling. The hardest part wasn’t convincing the people to be a part of the study, but just to get someone, anyone to answer the phone—in some small places like Cyprus no one would ever answer the phone at all–I’m sure the weather was just too nice to be indoors. In the US, someone would always answer, but it was some android automated person–‘Roberta robot’ and she always made it difficult for me to get transferred to an actual human.

One night Claudia took me to a party at a friend of hers. It was fun, once again, to not be a tourist and hang out with locals at a regular house party. Here I met a very good-looking Eastern European guy (who will remain anonymous) who I naturally flirted with, but he literally spoke three words of English and my ‘insert Eastern European language here’ is non-existent. So what do you in a case like this? Use the language of love, of course. We emailed a bit afterwards and I found his English translations not only hilarious, but oddly profound as well. Enjoy.

>—–Original Message—–
>Sent: Monday, October 08, 2007 9:19 PM
>To: Lisa Lubin
>Subject: Re: Guten Abend
hi like goes you it? You know who writes. thank you.

>——– Оригинално писмо ——–
>От: “Lisa Lubin” <llworldtour@yahoo.com>
>Относно: RE: Guten Abend
>Изпратено на: Сряда, 2007, Октомври 9 00:38:23 EEST
Hi!
How are you? (Wie Gehts???)
At first I thought this email was spam!!
I’m here in Cologne still. I’m staying near the University and start working there tomorrow. I am flying to Spain on Friday. I hope you can understand this email!
Lisa
Bis später!!

>—–Original Message—–
>Sent: Tuesday, October 09, 2007 9:19 AM
>To: Lisa Lubin
>Subject: Re: Guten Abend
>Hi Lisa, I let this translated over a machine, and I don’t know whether this
>got along something I wrote. I wish you much fun in Spain. Much fun with
>her/it works. Pay attention well to you.Greeting.

>——– Оригинално писмо ——–
>От: “Lisa Lubin” <llworldtour@yahoo.com>
>Относно: RE: Guten Abend
>Изпратено на: Сряда, 2007, Октомври 10 00:38:23 EEST
>———————————-
>Hi!! Funny translation!
>Too bad we can’t meet up for a beer or something…
>I’m around til Friday! I can teach you English!!!
>Lisa

> >Sent: Wednesday, October 10, 2007 10:23 PM
> >To: Lisa Lubin
> >Subject: Re: RE: Guten Abend >
hi Lisa.As it go yourself it.I am kapput.today, was one exhausting
day.When you fly exactly on the Friday.I would undertake something gladly with you.
we will be able to get along badly, but you can teach me;)

>От: “Lisa Lubin” <llworldtour@yahoo.com>
> >Относно: RE: RE: Guten Abend
> >Изпратено на: Сряда, 2007, Октомври 10 23:52:04 EEST
> >———————————-
> >You are funny! You are Kapput! Me too–I worked at University Cologne today and have to tomorrow at 7am.
> >My flight on Friday is at 12:30pm. Tomorrow afternoon I am free…where are you? I will be walking around Koln.
> >Take care and keep smiling!
> >LL

>—–Original Message—–
>Sent: Thursday, October 11, 2007 12:21 AM
>To: Lisa Lubin
>Subject: Re: RE: RE: Guten Abend
Hi Lisa, you bring me to the laughter. I don’t know whether I will be nachmitag in Cologne tomorrow. Until 17 o’clock, I becomes befriend something for mine must take care of and then, I must give child-training afterward I have in the time of. Why you don’t give me your correct enamel-address:, like said I would meet you gladly I, however, doesn’t know whether I in the time of has.Hopefully you now and then write if we don’t find ourselves.Greeting

>——– Оригинално писмо ——–
>От: “Lisa Lubin” <llworldtour@yahoo.com>
>Относно: Guten Nacht
>Изпратено на: Четвъртък, 2007, Октомври 11 01:28:45 EEST
>———————————-
Your English is improving with every email!! I don’t have a phone or I’d give you the number…
PLUS what would we say since we don’t speak each other’s language.I think if we met…we may not be able to talk much!! The best way to reach me is email…or on skype.
>Guten Nacht.
>Xx,
>LL

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Thursday, October 11, 2007 12:55 AM
To: Lisa Lubin
Subject: Re: Guten Nacht
hmmm Madam, you are a funny medchen, the best we first-once write how you say since we cannot understand each other. I cannot forget your eyes.One finds oneself. Pay attention well to you and don’t forget to write. Send me the photos.
Later, if I can English, I tell you some matters:

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Thursday, October 11, 2007 7:55 AM
To: Lisa Lubin
Subject: Re: Guten Nacht
hi Lisa, as it goes you. If nothing can say to it. I don’t want to destroy your plans. You are a fascinating woman and very sexy.I hope that no one will read these enamels. Flige to Spain has your fun and if then improves itself my English we can ourselves in rests entertained. Until then, we write ourselves enamels and it will be much more more interesting if we find ourselves someday. Sleep well and pas well on you on.Good travels and much jokes with dei
—————————————————————–
Крайна цел – Да оцелееш!

 

Plugged In

So my little readers…it has been exactly one year since I embarked on this marvelous journey. I truly can not believe how fast it has gone. You may have noticed I am still gone…which means I am extending the one year plan to one year plus…more. I am still not sure when I will return. But I am in Spain now and am nearing the Atlantic Ocean which marks my circumnavigation of the globe (yep me…and Chris Columbus). I am not exactly sure what I will do when I look out across the sea towards America. Perhaps I will feel it is ready to come home…or perhaps I will wave, turn around and keep on traveling. I am trying to live for each day and not worry too much about this for now. But the ‘nearness’ to some kind of end has inevitably started to preoccupy my thoughts. Of course, with the passing of one year…I felt it necessary to take stock and make some all important lists.

As I travel, many are often asking me about the money I’ve spent traveling around the world for one year. As I’ve said before, it is much less than what most think. Staying in budget hotels, pensions, or hostels, and eating at tasty local, yet cheap, establishments makes a trip like this incredibly affordable. And, after one year, I’ve spent less than I had actually budgeted for.

So here’s a list of the money I’ve spent:

Moolah:

• USD
• Costa Rican Colonnes
• Ecuadorian US Dollars (yes, their official currency is the greenback)
• Chilean Peso
• Argentinean Peso
• New Zealand $
• Australian $
• Hong Kong $
• Vietnamese Dong (16,000 Dong=$1)
• Cambodia Riel
• Thai Bhat
• Singapore $
• Dubai Dirham
• Turkish Lira
• Romanian Lei
• Hungarian Forint
• Slovak Crown
• Czech Crown
• Polish Zloty
• Euro

A big theme to my trip is of course being ‘on the move.’ And besides walking, many things have ‘moved’ me over the course of a year. I am excited about all the ways I have managed to get myself around the planet.

Types of Transport

• Plane (100+ hours flying time on 26 different flights)
• Train (inside, and on top of)
• Bus
• Boat/Ferry
• Car (usually as a passenger–I’ve only driven twice now on my entire trip—once in Melbourne in a rental car challenging my ‘wrong side of the road’ driving skills, and once in Bistrita, Romania—getting to speed down the dusty village roads in my friend’s prize BMW.)
• SUV (used in the real sense)
• Tram
• Camel
• Snow Board (on sand)
• Bicycle
• Motorbike
• Tuk Tuk
• Cyclo
• Funicular (Quito, Istanbul, Zakapone)
• Subway/Metro
• Zipline

Other Odd Statistics:

• Glaciers: 4 (Cotopaxi, Pio XI, Grey Glacier, Perito Moreno)
• Volcanoes: 5 (Irazu, Arenal, Cotopaxi, Osorno, Galapagos)
• Caves: 6 Galapagos, Milodin–Chile, Halong Bay, Cu Chi Tunnels, Tinaztepe—Turkey, Wieliczka—Poland)

Things I’ve had to replace:

• Sunglasses—3x
• Umbrella—2x
• Hair Clips—2x
• Sandals—1x
• Jeans—1x
• Suitcase Wheels—1x
• Ipod—1x
• Toothbrush—1x
• Toe Ring—1x

Odd Foods I’ve Consumed (usually in very small quantities):

• Vegemite
• Kangaroo
• Cow penis
• Chicken intestine
• Chicken feet
• Chicken head (okay, I didn’t eat the whole thing—just a little nibble on the neck)
• Goat
• Orejas (pig ears…say what?)

And now…it’s time for some shameless self-promotion!! As this website racks up hits (nearly 40,000 to date), the phenomenon that is “LLWorldTour” has gotten some mentions in various spots all over the web and beyond.

Over the last few months I have been fortunate to be featured in the Chicago Daily Herald, The New Jersey Daily Record, and was recently named ‘the lost girl of the week’ on the popular travel site: The Lost Girls.

Check it out:

 

· The New Jersey Daily Record

· Chicago Daily Herald

· The Lost Girls

· GO Nomad Q&A with LL

· Jaunted–The Pop Culture Travel Guide

· Vacation Apprentice

· Navimag Ferry Website

 

 

 

Ich bin ein Berliner

Roaring down the autobahn at 200 kilometers per hour (125 mph) was only the beginning of my love affair with Germany. I met my good friend Mark in Berlin and loved it instantly. Berlin is a progressive, innovative, cultured European capital. Every thing in this metropolis is thought out and well-designed. And, of course, beer is plentiful and cheap.

Considering how much of it was destroyed in WWII, and following that, how it became an ‘island’ in a sea of communist East Germany and thus split in two for nearly thirty years by a big concrete wall, I guess they had a fairly clean slate to work with. Kind of like after the Chicago Fire of 1871, world famous architects (Mies van der Rohe, Le Corbusier, Gehry, Libeskind, Jahn) descended on Germany in the last couple decades…especially after the iron curtain fell and the wall literally came down. The 100-mile “Anti-Fascist Protective Rampart,” as it was called by the East German government, was erected almost overnight in 1961 to stop the outward flow of people into West Berlin which had been divided into French, British, and American Sectors like the rest of West Germany (3 million poured out between 1949 and 1961). The Wall was 13-feet high, had a 16-foot tank ditch, a no-man’s-land that was 30 to 160 feet wide, and 300 watch towers. During its 28 years standing there were 1,693 cases when border guards fired, 3,221 arrests, and 5,043 documented successful escapes (565 of these were East German guards). In its progressive way of looking ahead but acknowledging the past, Berlin has laid down a double line of bricks all around the city marking the former site of the wall. Berlin has now taken the opportunity to reinvent itself and has done so in an amazing way.

Forget Singapore—Germany is an uber clean place with one notable exception—dog shit is everywhere. Not sure how or why the innovative and law enforcing Germans have not been able step up to the plate on this one and force their citizenry of dog owners to bag their pooch’s poop like we do in cities in the US.

There was a ton to see in Berlin, a city constantly changing with crane’s silhouettes in the sky as proof, from the reproduction of Checkpoint Charlie to the many green spaces and bike lanes to the haunting Holocaust Memorial and the oft-photographed Brandenburg Gate and so much in-between. I won’t bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say I would live in this city in a heartbeat. If I had to pick, I had two favorite and opposing neighborhoods. The first is Prenzlauer Berg in what once was bleak East Germany. It is now a cute leafy ‘neighborhoody’ village-like place full of young couples, an inordinate amount of strollers, and cute little boutiques and cafes. My other favorite place is the architecturally stunning skyscraper ‘times square’ sector known as Potsdamer Platz. It is dominated by the new and jaw-dropping Sony Center designed by German-born and Chicago’s own Helmut Jahn. This is the same man that did the controversial space-ship-like James Thompson Center in Chicago and the huge new Bangkok Airport. Like his other creations, the Sony Center is steel and glass everywhere you look done in a sleek sexy style that makes it hard not to stare upwards in awe. The striking glass atrium is topped by a cirque du soleil-like tent cover that hangs over an entertaining mix of several restaurants, shops, and cinemas.

And rounding out the whole ‘Ich Liebe Berlin’ (I love Berlin) experience was our hostel. Joining the list of some of my favorite sleeps on my trip had to be the brand spankin’ new Sleep-Inn. Run smoothly by a young Berlin couple, Yvonne and Ralph, it was spotless with fluffy new comforters and towels. Plus each room had all these fun whimsical touches like bright splashes of color here and there, murals on the walls and your own cuddly gnome in each room. You don’t know how much brand new pillows, sheets, and towels mean to this world traveler after sleeping on 87½ different beds, trains, chairs, floors, and couches throughout the year…where, hundreds or perhaps thousands, of other icky travelers had laid their own greasy heads. I liked it so much I went as far as offering to work there—something I hope to still pursue except for that pesky law forbidding non-EU citizens from working without a work permit. If I can only get them to treat this law as they do with their dog poop…I’ll be all set.

 

Into the West…

It was just another travel day for me on this big adventure. And like all ‘travel days’ (this is not what I call every day—just the days I go from one place to the next), I feel a bit of melancholy. On these days, not only does it mean schlepping my 20 kilogram (roughly 40 pounds) pack onto a bus to a train and/or onto a plane, it means leaving behind a new language I was getting comfortable with, leaving behind a new home I was settling into, and most of all leaving behind new friends I made and connected with.

I had returned to Romania for two weeks to a town where, when the shops run out of change, they just give you whatever they have lying around instead. ‘We owe you ten cents…here have this stale old candy instead.’ ‘Your change is thirty-three cents, but we’ve run out of coins, so you can have a couple squares of gum.’ At the drugstore, I bought some hair products and instead of change they gave me one black elastic hair band. Wow, thanks. This is quite a system…one that locals are pretty sick of. I think after a week you could go back into one of these stores, plunk down a fistful of gum and buy whatever you want and they shouldn’t complain.

After two weeks of relaxing and enjoying their company, I left Mona and Florin’s cozy apartment home in Northern Romania at three o’clock in the morning (oh joy) after a not-so-relaxing two hours of sleep. We arrived at the tiny, inconspicuous Transylvania Airport about two hours later. Through teary eyes we said our goodbyes (“Pa” and “La Revedere”) and I hugged Mona like a true old friend. I haven’t felt this sad painful tug of a farewell since I said goodbye to a man I had dated in the east.

I flew back to Budapest where I had been just a few weeks ago, accumulated more happy Hungarian stamps in my passport, bristled at the now familiar and yet so foreign sound of Hungarian—probably the one language I just outright decided not to deal with, and waited, and waited…about six hours for my Easy Jet flight to Germany.

I waited so long in the main part of the airport that I nearly missed my flight, being ignorant of how long the security check lines had become. I guess arriving bleary-eyed at 6am to a just waking airport had me in some kind of bubble that no crowds would form. I let out a few impatient breaths in the security line as the moms in front of me chose the last possible moment to collapse their baby strollers and take off their jackets (this can be quite frustrating—we wait on line for 30 minutes with all the time in the world to get yourself ‘defrocked’ and ready for that moment when you must drop your crap on the belt and walk through the metal detector). And one of the moms even handed her kid to the security man to hold as she organized herself. Oh, it was so cute and everyone got a nice little chuckle…but not when your plane is leaving in five minutes—let’s go lady!

I boarded the crowded, seat yourself budget flight and grabbed one of the last remaining aisle seats. Then it hit me. I was with a bunch of white, large, loud, and fun-loving Germans. No more mysterious Asian villages. No more exotic Muslim temples. And no more Eastern European backwardness or lingering Communist vibes. Hello Capitalism. Hello wide perfectly paved roads. Hello big cars and big people. Hello Ikea.

I was back in Western territory and not sure I liked it. Everything was clean. Everything was efficient. Everything was running smoothly. Wait—I’m a Virgo—of course I liked it. But perhaps, for the first time in my life, I missed the clutter; I missed the chaos; I missed the ‘Turkish/Romanian/Thai’ way of doing things.

But deep down I knew what I felt was just that old sadness of ‘transitions’ again. I knew in a day or two I would love it. I told myself: It’s a travel day. It’s a transition day. It’s a hurry-up-and-wait day. Just soak it all in and let in happen. So, now I must hop on the bus from the airport to the train station, to the bar where my good friend Claudia will pick me up in about four hours. It was almost exactly one year ago, she came with me to Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport with red wine and snacks at three o’clock in the morning to bid me farewell on my journey around the world. We laughed and cried and I felt such an odd uncertainty of what lay ahead of me. There is no way to express the feeling of time flying—it’s unforgiving, never ending, and always seems to be going full speed ahead. And since I left my home one year ago, she has moved back to her homeland of Germany and now I was coming home to her.